


One For The Road

by agentsimmons



Series: Gluten Free Waffles [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner Cooks, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Developing Relationship, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Pre-Iron Man 3, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Science Bros, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-01
Updated: 2015-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 07:32:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4910704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony follows through with his planned return to Malibu, but not without a parting gesture from Bruce.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One For The Road

Bruce was tired. He was dreading the coming day so much that he couldn’t sleep. He was just glad that Tony seemed to be getting some sleep. Or else he was at least laying in bed. Some kind of rest for his body was better than none.

It was 4 a.m. and so far there had been no distress signals from JARVIS or Tony standing in his doorway looking lost, something that decidedly didn’t suit him. And he would have heard Tony leave for the elevator since he was awake. The fact that Tony was maybe sleeping without disturbance reminded him of why this was a good idea no matter how much he didn’t like it the closer the moment came. Tony’s mind was maybe already at peace with the knowledge that he was going home.

Home.

It was just another word for away.

Bruce was depressingly aware that home would always be synonymous with away because every time he sort of had a home, it didn’t last. It had been that way since his childhood so why should it be different now?

But he wasn’t going to lie in bed and feel sorry for himself because _this wasn’t about him_. This was about Tony and his needs and Tony needed to be okay. Bruce had never doubted for one moment that eventually _okay_ would be as far away from him as possible, even if the circumstances had been unrelated to the Other Guy in the end; it was at least a small bit of relief to hold onto.

Bruce quietly made his way to the kitchen and began with his admittedly silly task. He had argued back and forth with himself for at least two hours over the course of the night before talking himself into it. He had already bought all the things he needed when the idea had occurred to him on a whim a few days before so it wouldn’t make sense to waste it because he might be a little too sheepish for his own good sometimes.

After all, he thought as he pulled out the ingredients and necessary cooking equipment, Tony would probably appreciate it. He might even smile that smile that lit up his eyes or maybe bark out a laugh without meaning anything cruel by it and if that was one of the last things he could see of the billionaire in person for a while, then it would be worth it. And it was thoughts like that which told him it was probably good Tony was leaving for other reasons he didn’t want to entertain.

His task was tedious in a way that reminded him of why cooking was truly a science, but after the two sets of batter were complete, he found a rhythm as he cooked each batch of waffles and then moved them to a wire rack to cool before moving on to another. Even before 6 a.m. rolled around he had twenty blueberry waffles lined up on a large baking sheet and twenty cinnamon waffles lined up on another. There were four of each held back for the breakfast he was going to prepare for them next. For not the first time he was glad for Tony’s luxurious kitchen, and probably excessive for a man who rarely cooked, as he carefully placed the two baking sheets into the generous freezer.

Bruce cleaned up that mess and took a few minutes to rest since he was still pretty tired. Of course, his idea of resting was beginning a crossword to will away the brain fuzz, perhaps a little stubbornly. He and Tony weren’t so different in that way, he mused with a thin smile as he filled in the first column. After about twenty minutes, he decided to get started on the rest of breakfast since Tony rarely slept in late these days when he did sleep.

He fell into another easy sort of trance, which thankfully kept his mind from wandering to how weird it would feel when he was cooking breakfast only for himself, as he cracked open several eggs and whisked them in preparation for two omelets. He then pulled out the turkey sausage patties - another one of those things Bruce preferred that Tony had acquiesced on because sausage was sausage (and there may have been an innuendo or two added when Tony had said so). He made quick enough work of placing them into the oven that he had preheated from the very beginning. Once that was done he started the coffee and a tea kettle and then began working on the omelets.

Bruce was a little bit aware that he was going overboard and that Tony would probably feel gorged his entire way to Malibu, but he needed this. He needed to give Tony this send off. As strangely domestic as it was, in ways he didn’t trust himself to analyze, he wanted to cook for Tony one more meal while he still had the chance. For all he knew, when Tony finally returned, it might be completely different and he might not have that pleasure - which it truly was.

Bruce turned to the island to grab one of the plates he had there only to stop in his tracks. Tony was standing several feet away not much unlike he had been that first morning he’d walked in on him cooking. Only it was also entirely different. Tony’s eyes were set on him with that special brand of intensity that Bruce had given up trying to put into words and somehow he knew in an instant that Tony was feeling the bittersweet tension that hung in the air between them, his face soft and content and sad and vulnerable all at once.

Bruce wasn’t sure how long they stood there taking in the sight of each other before the oven timer went off and he recalled himself. He quickly turned his attention back to the breakfast, but was surprised when Tony quickly joined him. He gave him a strange look, but didn’t say anything as Tony pulled down two mugs and prepared his tea for him first in lieu of going straight for the coffee as he was apt to do. A few months ago, Bruce would have winced, but Tony had figured out the way he liked his tea in time so he only smiled softly at the gesture as he added the sausage to the plates that already had omelets. Tony then moved to grab the two plates from him with a smile before taking them over to the dinette. Bruce took that time to reheat the two plates of waffles in the microwave. By time he was done with that, Tony had pulled out the syrup and butter and taken that to the dinette as well. Finally, the engineer went back for their coffee and tea.

Bruce had to take a moment to muse over how familiar it felt. It felt as right as it did when they were dancing around each other in the lab like it was second nature or when Tony invited him into his workshop, which was definitely Tony’s element just like the kitchen was his. They could still manage to figure out a rhythm that worked.

For once, they spent most of the breakfast eating in silence. Bruce wasn’t sure if it felt right. Tony should be talking a mile a minute and saying the most ridiculous things that could somehow make him laugh as if nothing had ever gone wrong in his life. They should be filling up the silence with words or equations or just anything. Of course, he knew that why they couldn’t find anything to say was because there was always that off chance that they would say all the wrong things.

Things like, “When does your flight leave?”

Tony looked down at his plate and Bruce followed suit. “Well, it’s my jet so it can leave whenever I want it to.”

“I’m pretty sure departure time applies to private jets too,” Bruce countered with an imitation of a smile as he took a bite of the cinnamon and blueberry waffles at once. “I think it has something to do with regulations on flight planning.”

“Oh so you’re an expert on flying now?” Tony quipped though it sounded a little weaker than usual.

“I’ve been reading up. Thought I’d ask you to build me a suit,” Bruce quipped back and was glad for the soft snort of amusement Tony responded with. “It would have to be pretty big though just in case. Not sure how aerodynamic it would be. Of course _you_ could probably manage it.”

“Damn betcha,” Tony said breezily. Then he was quiet for a moment again. "Hey, J? When does the flight leave?"

"You are expected to arrive at 1:10, sir." JARVIS answered. "Will you be in need of a driver or shall you drive yourself?"

Bruce looked up and met Tony's eyes and there seemed to be an unspoken 'this is nearly the end' as crazy as it seemed. The end of what? The end of them playing bachelor and a half or odd couple or house or whatever it was that they had going on? The end of their friendship as they'd come to know it?  


"I have to pack up the bots and suits so, I'll take one of the SUVs," Tony finally answered the AI.

After breakfast, Tony went to do that, insisting he didn't need help. Bruce tried to work on a formula on his Starkpad while he waited for the waffles to finish freezing, but it was difficult. He just didn't have the focus for that right now. So he finished his crossword instead.

When the waffles were frozen he pulled out the food sealer, because Tony really did have absolutely everything in the kitchen it was almost ridiculous, and began sealing them two at a time. When he was done he placed them back in the freezer. He would transfer them to a soft cooler when Tony was ready to leave.

Leave.

As Bruce lounged on the sofa and tried to bury himself in a book, that word echoed in his mind like a taunt. Bruce was always the one who left. Now he knew how it felt to be on the other side. It was still for the best, he maintained.

"Well, everything's loaded up," Tony said casually when he returned, startling Bruce from where he'd dozed off a little in spite of everything – or maybe as a nice way to escape everything. "Guess I'll be heading out."

He looked over to see the man standing nearby and looking around the living area tentatively. Bruce almost thought he looked as if he wanted to ask him one more time to come along and at the moment Bruce wasn't even sure he would say no this time if Tony did. And that was a dangerous notion that he couldn't allow.

"Not quite everything," he said, standing up and moving to the kitchen. He didn't miss Tony's strange look. He placed the cooler on the island and Tony's expression became even more confused as he walked over.

"What's that for?" Tony asked as he pointed to it.

"Uh… Well, you'll probably think I'm crazy, but…" Bruce took a deep breath and willed away his discomfort and moved to pull the packages of waffles from the freezer.

"Are those what I think they are?" Tony's face lit up a little even as he gave Bruce a skeptical glance.

Bruce smiled and nodded. "Thought you might get lonely without my waffles since you profess your love for them so often," he said, opting for teasing rather than sentimental.

"Are you kidding me? That's…" And Bruce was rewarded for the effort as Tony smiled that smile that met his eyes. "That's great! Jeez, Bruce. When did you…?" He shook his head as if at a loss.

Bruce finished packing up the cooler and closed it. He came around to stand just in front of the engineer. "I, uh… Well, the idea came to me a few days ago. I made them all this morning. There's both blueberry and cinnamon like we had for breakfast. Um, twenty each. They should be good for a few months." He looked tentatively at Tony, waiting for his reaction.

Tony's eyebrows shot up and he looked down at the cooler and then back up at him. "You made forty waffles?"

"Sorry, yeah, I know it's a little weird, I just—"

Bruce couldn't finish that thought because with a quick motion, Tony plucked the cooler from his hand, placed it on the counter, and wrapped him in a hug. "Damn it, Bruce," he sounded almost choked which did nothing to help the emotions threatening to undo Bruce in ways that he'd almost forgotten he could hurt underneath all of the anger.

When Tony pulled back there was a moment suspended in time and Bruce felt all of those irrational introspective thoughts that he wouldn't let get the better of his judgment fight to surface all at once. Then somehow the moment passed, they managed to say their goodbyes, and when the other man was gone Bruce wondered if this was how Tony felt when he said it was so cold in his nightmares.

*  *  *  *

"Tony?" Pepper's concerned voice broke through his wall of self-pity and he slowly lolled his head to acknowledge her. "Tony, what's wrong?" Her concern doubled and she came to stand over him. He wished she wouldn't though because he felt on the verge of suffocating, like having one of his nightmares while still awake. He wasn't sure what that meant.

He also didn't have an easy answer for her because he knew he was being ridiculous. Tony knew that he wasn't behaving like a grown man should. He hadn't slept for going on forty hours. He hadn't talked to anyone save for JARVIS and his bots for at least thirty-six of those hours. He spent those same hours working on his newest suit and the final stage of design was giving him hell. He wasn't going to make it back to New York for Christmas. And now he was throwing himself a fucking pity party over…

"There aren't any more," he blurted vaguely, his voice a strangled sound. He wrenched his eyes shut and tried to will away another break down over something so trivial.

No, _not_ trivial. So very damn important. He couldn't even put into words how important it felt. It felt like his only life line in an endless stream of suit building and fitful sleep and trying to deflect in other ways and the nagging feeling like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.

He opened his eyes again to see Pepper's questioning gaze. Her eyes were blue, they were beautiful, and... they were somehow wrong. He narrowed his own gaze to study that blue. Blue was supposed to be soothing. Everybody raved about blue eyes. You were supposed to be able to drown in blue eyes like a pool. Well, not that he liked the connotation of drowning for – he took a sharp breath in – reasons he shouldn't think about at the moment.

"Tony, what are you talking about? There aren't any more what? What is it you need?" Pepper kept her voice gentle, as if trying to coax him into being rational or at least into letting her in.

Maybe he was wrong for shutting her out even after he'd begged her to move in, because the lack of another body in the place had been too unnerving. She was still his girlfriend after all and he was _yet again_ making a mess of things. She was concerned and all he could do was lock himself away and wish he was somewhere else. He wasn't even sure where else he wanted to be anymore. He just wanted to be somewhere he could escape the nightmares and the cold and the loneliness.

"I need waffles," he finally managed, sounding pitiful even to his own ears. "There aren't any left and I… I need… I _need_ them, Pepper." Tony looked up at her desperately, pleading for her to know how to fix this. She used to be so good at fixing his messes even if she couldn't fix him.

Her eyes became studious and her mouth was drawn into an uncertain frown. "Tony," she finally said gently, "are you sure that's what you need?"

The scowl was on his face in an instant, before he could even check it against rational thoughts that would tell him he was emotionally charged and not angry with her, not really. "That's what I just said, isn't it!? I need the damn waffles, Pepper! I…" His anger turned to despair. He was so damn _tired_ , that's what he was. He couldn’t think straight anymore. "I need…"

Pepper sighed and cupped his face. "Tony, I think you need a doctor."

Tony's eyes widened as her words struck him like one of Barton's arrows. "You're right," he said, nodding. He stood up and she let him push past her, although he didn't quite miss the confused look she gave him. "I should call Bruce. He'll know what—"

"Tony," she said his name sharply and he turned back to look at her. "That's not what I meant. Dr. Banner is wonderful from the little we've met and I know he's become a great... friend for you, but he can't help you with this. Not long term. You need a professional."

Tony frowned. Bruce could always help him. He had always somehow figured out a way before, even when it was subtly. He just seemed to think through all of the variables depending on the situation. But it had been unfair of him to stick around and put the physicist through his dilemma for so long. Tony had decided to leave because Bruce had brought it up again which maybe meant Bruce was growing tired of him; he knew for a fact Pepper was already growing tired of him too. He had been afraid of finally being so much of a wreck that Bruce would finally freak out and run off. The man already did so much to keep his own demons at bay; he didn't deserve the job of keeping Tony's away too, not that Pepper did either. Nobody deserved it. He didn't deserve anybody at all.

"I mean a professional doctor, Tony," Pepper broke through his spiraling thoughts with a firm repeat of her suggestion.

"You mean a shrink?" He fixed her with a dubious glare. She nodded. "No, I don't need a shrink." She gave him a disapproving scowl, but he decided to wave a dismissive hand at her. If that was what she thought would make him better then she really couldn't fix this mess. He hadn't even told her most of his problems yet, why would he tell a stranger? The only person who knew it all in full was Bruce. "I'm fine. Everything's fine. The only thing I need right now is more waffles," he said stubbornly.

"Fine, Tony," she said, her voice harsher against his ears than before. She was clearly tired of fighting with him on this. "JARVIS, put in an order for waffles for Tony."

The request hit him like a punch in the gut, knocking the little wind he had left clean out. "No… It's…" He shook his head, letting it hang down as he did. Why couldn't he just make her understand? "It's not the same," he said, voice pitched low. It probably sounded broken. Maybe everything about him was broken now. What kind of engineer was he if he couldn't even fix himself?

" _Why_ isn't it?" Pepper urged, but it sounded like a challenge. "What is this, Tony? Why isn't it the same?"

He let out a defeated breath. "They have to be gluten free," he lied. Pepper tilted her head and looked at him strangely, as though he was making a mountain out of a molehill quibbling over whether or not they were gluten free. Or maybe she knew it was a lie just as much as he did.

"Okay," she said, sounding equally defeated, and then, "JARVIS, change that order to gluten free waffles. And have the grocers rush it."

But that wouldn't be enough and he knew it. They needed to be gluten free. They needed to be blueberry or cinnamon or anything else so long as they were _right_. They needed to be expertly mixed together and prepared by skilled hands that didn't seem to know how equally strong and gentle they were. They needed to be the waffles he... _loved_.

He furrowed his brow and then moved his gaze quickly to look at Pepper. Suddenly it was like being struck by Thor's lightning and he reeled back several steps.

"I, uh, I need to get back to the workshop. New suit and I just... I need some space. Thanks for ordering the waffles," he gabbled and waved his hand as he rushed back to his garage.

Maybe he was tired. Maybe he was losing it. Maybe he just wanted a waffle. Maybe he needed a distraction until he could get his head back on straight.

But Pepper's eyes weren't brown.

**Author's Note:**

> Although this is still technically pre-IM3, the second half of this fic is where the planned canon divergence begins. It's supposed to take place in the interlude right before Tony is working on the new suit, in the hours without sleep leading up to that moment.
> 
> Also I thought long and hard about merging the fic into one and I might in the future if A03 ever gains that feature or if enough people would prefer it that way and ask for it. Until then, it seems like a hassle and also this way I guess if some people don't want to read after it goes beyond gen/pre-slash, they don't have to.


End file.
